To: The Ghostly Apparition Of Humanitys Goodness
god mustve been feeling particularly vindictive when he made guilt. it makes its way into the deepest pits of your stomach and then eats you from the inside out, and in my situation i cannot do anything lest i risk anothers life. but i should do whats right ! but is it right for both? i know if this is seen, it wont make sense, but just know im sorry.
i was a weak man and believed the security of the lie how youd feel. of course you wouldnt be okay with it. but i was weak. i was weak and everytime it was downturned by me i got treated so poorly in return. i thought you were okay with it. i shouldnt have. you were given so little account, no wonder you didn't raise hell. more happened, even while it was still limited and so long ago. it was more than you deserved. i was weak. im so sorry. i still am too weak to tell you all this, i can only write this message to your afterglow. even if you dont understand this i just want you you know i am so, so sorry. you're one of the only person in the world i can trust and yet i do not deserve your trust. i am a betrayer, a destroyer of lives and worlds, and yet you give so much to me. i belived the security of a lie from whom could never fully give it to me. i shouldve stayed with the real security you had to offer, even if the other was thrust upon me, even if it was insited upon me and i felt as if it was the only option i had, despite you and the other symbols around me.
i was just too weak. too weak of a man and too weak of a star. too weak of a friend and too weak of a lover. i was weak from the explosions of the years long war i had been. and now that i have recovered i can say this in full wake, in full knowledge that everything now is real and happening and not simply a night terror or a delusion.
i'm sorry from the bottom of my heart.
remember that i will always love for you, for you're my sibling, my best friend, and you mean so much to so many people. if i was rich id give my riches to you. if i was joyous id share my joy with you. if i was perfect id share my perfection with you. live long and prosper, as your life brings good to humanity.
From: The Supernova In The Sky