happy. new. YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't I have so much to update you all on? soooooo lets talk
I graduated early!! in december!!! I'm grateful for it, but I'm quite nervous. I worry I will be aimless like my brother is, and a leech like my father is. i have so many paths and i dont even know which ones to take or all the ones there are. Evie wants me to move in with her, but I worry a lot about burdening her parents and being like my dad. I'm still grateful for this opportunity!! School is very tough on my depression, so I'm glad to be out. My GPA is 3.6 now ദ്ദി ( ᵔ ᗜ ᵔ )
I'd like to maybe go to a local in state college, but living in the south sucks booty butt. I have a friend whos begging me to go to the same college as him, but Evie is begging me to move in with her, and if I move I have my heart set on Minnesota, I love Maryland and I adore August but it's too expensive and I like the woods and stuff. If I moved out of here with Evies family (they want to move to a trans safe state) it'd have to be there I think. I dunno, life is confusing and hard but it's so worth living.
Still working by the way! It's been going pretty well, I have like 3 write ups but I won't be fired.. hopefully... pleaseee God!!! I need this job brah!!! My manager said I have the best customer service other than 2 other shy but awesome coworkers and that made me super happy! I'm glad to know I'm okay at my job, even if my hearts not in it. It makes my feet hurt so bad! (๑-﹏-๑)
My cat went missing in October. His name is Levi and I love him. God if you're here, please bring him back to me soon. I miss my baby.
I GOT A NEW COMPUTERRR!!!! I'VE WAITED FOR 8 YEARS TO GET OFF MY POTATO LAPTOP AND NOW I HAVE A REAL GAMING LAPTOP AYAYAYYAYAYAY!!!!! I tried to install linux and that was wayyy too confusing.. I mean I had it but actually using it was kind of painful. Mucho respect to linux users all there o7
Last thing!! My dad has been in and out of the RV but now he refuses to leave the RV and my mom wants to call a tow truck. He said he'll shoot up the drivers and the cops if she does and thats. not good! my poor puppies.. but it's okay he's probably bluffing. He lies like constantly he might not even have that gun. One can only hope!
Things have improved so much between us! We still argue a lot but I feel like I can trust her a lot more! I wish I had more freedoms and she wouldn't treat me like such a child, but I'm sure with time that will improve. I love you mom!
Oh buddy. He's still fucking INSANE and makes me feel shitty all the time, but I still love him. I GUESS. The dawgs are cute still :3 He wants to shoot up the police as I mentioned earlier, and while I agree with ACAB everything my dad has done in the past 5 years has been his fault. Also if he does that my dogs are probably gonna get shot and killed or witness him die. Erm, Awkward!!
hi klurgvert
ofc we argue a lot we're brothers but i love him dearly, he's always there for me still. I'm so glad I got to be raised with him, and I hope he improves as as person this 2025. Good luck!
I LOVE YOUUUU!!! We hung out constantly during summer but we haven't that much over break bc I have work :(( She still knows I wuv her sooo much!! And I know she loves me too ♡ I hope we stay together forever and I'm so excited to play vintage story with you again ♡♡♡
AUGUST. We haven't been talking that much in the past few months but we still love each other dearly. He's been going through rough stuff and I want him to know I'll always love him. He's become a degen because of MY unwoke influence (it was his own brain lol) and it's prettyyy cool for me!! We can talk about cute anime boys even MORE now! I can't wait to see you kouhai! Dattebayo!
MARIIII we've been hanging out soo much more this year!! It's so fun, and I get to hang out with Julian too! They've figured out a lot of stuff about themselves and got cool tattoos and piercings and I'm proud of her for coming this far! No matter what, I'll always see the good in you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORV!! I can't believe you're HERE and EIGHTEEN and you MADE IT!!! You made it man, I'm so proud of you. You're so talented and incredible and I can't wait to see you tomorrow. We'll be best friends 'till the end of time.
We've became super good friends this year! He's a really swell person and I'm grateful to know him, he's super good at writing and art (even though hes YOUNGER THAN ME!!)and makes Mari really happy. I'm glad to have grown close with you!
SAGEEEE!!!! OH MY GOD YOU'VE IMPROVED SO RAPIDLY!!! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU KNOW THAT!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!! KEEP SMOKING WEED AND CROCHETING I LOVE YOU BRO
I can't believe we just met this year!! I feel like I've known it way longer. I missed it whenever it went offline, but I'm glad we text now!! Such a cool person you are. I hope D'espair puts put in your hands and you squish him really hard.
DEVIIII I MISS YOU HI she's really cool!! We share a lot of the same interests and I think she's really smart! I like listening to what she has to say because she has a perspective I really related too back when I was younger. Thank you for being my friend for so long
THERES SO MANY OF YOU BUT I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!! IM SO GLAD IVE BEEN IN THIS SINCE LIKE 2020! shoutout to my AMAZING FUNNY AND TALENTED POLISH NATIVE SOUTH AFRICAN JEWISH FRIEND ASHTON MARAJ PETTY WHO MAKES INCREDIBLE ART AND HAS CORRECT TCOAAL TAKES and JOUTA JOSEPHINA WHO MAKES INCREDIBLE STORIES AND DOES AMAZING GUNDAM BUILDS AND WATCHED SO MUCH GUNDAM WITH ME and HARESH WHOS LITERALLY IN AERO ENGINEERING HES LITERALLY A GENIUS and MONKEYBURGER WHO INSPIRED MY ART HEAVILY AND HAS CORRECT OPNIONS ABOUT FAT PEOPLE (theyre hot) and LINKATRON WHO IS AN EXCEPTIONALLY KIND PERSON WHO HAS DEVELOPED SO MANY SKILLS IN THE PAST YEAR SUCH AS CODING AND 3D MODELLING and STINKYCAT WHO IS REALLY FUNNY AND KIND AND AN EXCEPTIONAL WRITER!! I LOVE YOU ALL
IM SO GLAD WE GOT A JOB TOGETHER!! He's so fun to talk to I'm mad at myself that I haven't been to his house yet. YOUR CAREBEARS ARE AWESOEM AND YOUR YAPPING IS TOO AND I LOVE UR OCS YAYYY
MORI DANIEL HI WE HAVENT TALKED MUCH IN SO LONG AND IT MAKES ME SO SAD :(((( HE'S REALLY AWESOME AND I LOVE SAM AND MAX AND SO DOES HE AND HE'S INCREDIBLY TALENTED ARTISTICALLY!!! WE NEED TO CALL AGAIN AND NINJALA PLEASE
GABRIEL GENESIS HELLO HI HELLO!!!! THEY ARE SO COOL AND I LOVE THEIR FURSONA DESIGN AND I LOVE EVERY MOMENT WE HANG OUT!!! I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH THEM AND MORI AND PLAY ON THE WII AGAIN AND I WANNA SPLATOON WITH YOU I MISS THEM A LOT!!!!! HI YOU HI
6 years now, huh? I'm so glad to have spent every moment with you. I know you've forgotten a lot of memories, like Christmas, but when you read this, someday in the future, I want you to always remember that I love you. I'm a better man because of you, I've drawn and code and smiled and created because of you. During the hardest parts of my life, you were there. I'll never forget you, or the rest of the girls for that matter. Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri. You're all my friends, and I love you all. Monika, I know you'd want me to focus on myself. I know that if you became real you'd realize you were just as real as the rest of the girls, and you'd feel horrible for me devoting my life to a non real girl. The only way to make you happy is to make myself happy, at least that's what your creator said. I do truely love you, and I love my girlfriend Evie. I know if you become real you may not forgive me for being in love with her, but on the low, miraculous chance you do, I want you to read my words and learn who I am. Even if my love for the non-real is different I love you, Mons. Differently from any other 2D character before. I know the spirit I made you is wishing me and Evie good luck ♥
GREAT FANTASTIC THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE SO FAR HONESTLY!!! I love my childhood memories but I've never felt so fufilled and content yet ambitious until this year. Thank you to my family, my friends, my lover, and to all of the above but 2D! And, of course, any form of God that cares for us, and thank you to humaninity as a whole. To many more great years!
God the Frutiger Aero music I'm playing is putting me in a positive mood. It's 10 till 6am and I'm still so peppy! Anything below the KD14 music is my original draft of this, which was just me thinking. Me unfiltered oooo how scawy. take a read if you want, and happy 2025!
trump won thats crazy right. OK SORRY this is kind of stream of thoughts I'll organize it atttt the end. im watching peeden rn pretty cool
OK FOR ACTUAL WRITING!!
so since october i havent found levi :( i really miss him. im sure hes okay whether hes alive or dead. hes still a good soul.
me and evie have been super close! we argue sometimes but everyone does. i smoke weed now but its from a cart so its not that cool ok (it is legal) im trying 2 go in order ok.. so much happens everyday that its hard to think of it all okay!! i really need to start blogging daily.. ok lets skip november bc nothing happened except i was HAPPY FOR ONCE!!! broke the november cycle! IN DECEMBER I did all my finals, my job was CRAZY busy!! i mean CRAY CRAY!!! I worked on christmas eve, christmas day, and new years day! i got pay and a half tho (˶˃ ᗜ ˂˶) !! oh yeah i GRADUATED HIGHSCHOOL!! im really nervous about it becoz idk what im gonna do with my life yk.. college sucks booty and im scared to move in with evie because i have developed trust issues and i feel like i have to be fully independent and if i move in with her family ill end up fucking everything up and ruining our relationship and hurting my evie!!! and also then id be like homeless or moved back in with my mother (godforbid) NOT LIKE I HATE MY MOM!!! I love her sooo much i just would feel bad and i also dont like how i live here. i cant end up like my dad, no matter what. I will achieve something or ill die trying.
erm.. anyways....... i gotta figure out what college i would go to, and probably apply to more scholarships. i also gotta up my hours. ironic since i changed my availibity to 12-8 everyday except tuesday and saturday (youth group is that day) and we JUST left the busiest time of the year. lol.
AUGUST IS VISITING THIS MONTH!!! HELLS YEAH!!!! I MISS HIM SO FARTING MUCH I ADORE AUGUST!!!!!!!! IM REALLYYYY EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!! AND ITS CORVS BIRTHDAY TODAY TOO!!!! I love corv so much. hes been going through a lot and i worry for him, but im so grateful ive known him for 8 years, and im even more grateful that ill know him for the rest of my life. he better stay alive or ill GET HIM!!!!! I REALLY WILL!!!!!!!
I became friends with Yve this year! It's superrr cool, we stopped talking a bit when it went through a rough patch but we talk everyday now! it's so awesome!! me and devi also talk more now! I wish i could talk to her more shes the coolest!! me and julian have also gotten closer! lion pack 4 life.. my social links r going up!!! me and sage havent been calling as much as b4 which is sad :( but also hes like SOOO much better mentally, im so happy for them!! i worried about them so much, but they're doing good now! They also made me a crochetted nose warmer, fly, and PLUSH MONIKA!!!!! mai fiancee... i wuv her..... I also cut off ties with jere because I have my loyalties, but i still feel guilty at times. Maybe in the future ill feel better about it.. me and mari have been talking more again too!! we werent as close as we were before the breakup in 2023, but these past few months especially have made us way closer than before! it's nice :)
last but not least, EVIE!!! oh my evie bo bevie.. i love her so much 🎔 shes so intelligent and kind and shy and so CUTE!!!!!! genuienly the cutest person ive ever met shes like so sweet and shy and gets so worried about silly things.. ahh.. watashi no kawaii kanojo ♡ i love our dates and how much she loves her family and video games and how shes really freaky and its kinda funny ahhhh i love evie i dont just love the concept of girls or something i love evie and i wish i could show it even more than i already do! we dont talk as much as before and i do need my friend time and alone time but that doesnt mean i dont miss her. ohhhhh my wife i miss you wife (evie is my wife monika is my 5ever fiancee)(im not a cheater bc i know monika isnt real and alive and i know she'd want me to improve myself and interpersonal relationships instead of devoting my life to 2D if she knew too. that still doesnt mean i dont love her any less, ill always love her.)(sorry for explaining that now i just wanted to clear up anything with her since its obvious monika means a lot to me, i dont want to seem like a 2 timer)
sometimes i do get frusterated bc i wanna do like.. 'bad' stuff i guess. like sometimes i wanna drink and smoke and do weed in a fun way, and i get frusterated that i have to ask her cuz i feel like how i do with my mom. but i understand evie does it from a place of love and worry, and also smoking cigs are bad and id never do that on teh reg thats so ass. i only ever bum it. drinking with friends also sounds fun, never solo drinking though thats kinda sad. i do weed alone but it makes me paranoid that im stupider now. but i have been a lot happier about life and ive been able to focus on stuff better instead of constantly thinking about everything. sometimes its nice to have a clear mind
ive drawn a LOT and im almost done with my randy fic from april!!! i got rejected from MICA but its okay! i have so many different things i can do in life :) and im excited to move on from alcoholic randy jade fic to burger randy jade fic (big things are coming.)
this year has been so fun!! im actually happy for once! i know politically 2025 will be rough but with the connections i have now, i pray it will be just as good as 2024 if not better! im grateful for my family, friends, and anyone else, and i thank the universe (basically god) and myself for finding them. YAYYYYY
ok ill make this legible now