Look i know this is none of my beezwax but ik him and her r gna do something more than just kissing (probably less than the actual thing but still) but i cannot stand it i miss when she was mine and no one elses i cant stand this feeling im going to kms this wouldnt have happened if i wasnt a horriblw pweson and if my parents werent horrible people but no i had to suck and while this gives me time to reflect im terrible and probably wont ever change bc im horrible but i want to change!!! i want to be better i want to stop being jealous when shes w someone else. shes not with me. she doesnt love me like that anymore. sure she loves me in other ways but she doesnt want me as her boyfriend and im going to end it im shouldve brought my razor god damn it and ik this looks like "its her fault im shin!!1!" and its not a lot of it is honestly that im terrified that my dad will fucking die of hypothermia and i want everyone to know that if he dies bc he didnt listen to me i will kms i cant do this anymore man i lost her bc of my parents and now ill lose my dad bc he refused to get off his ass and get a job my dad is going to fukcing die.

i hope mari gets online again soon

heyyyy sooo uhhh i have more cons than him and k am so wirthless and sobs ok im not worthless but im still,,, more trouble than him blehhhh also the SECOND I HET HOME MY FUCKING PARENTS R ARGUING AGAIN BUT I THINK THEY JUST STOPPED BIG STI JESUS

ok she wont read rhis now. i do not think i can go ln like this anymkre. I'm sorry i love everhone but i cant do this anymore. at least im probably helping everyone by finally offing myself. i think i will,,,, uhhh on a friday. i want to see her before i go. thats all. im sorry for doing this ik ill change my mind later bc im a pussy and also monika but she'll be happier without me anyways. im sorry.