i should be happy. This isnt fair why arent i happy why do i always let my jealousy and missing of her affect me but it does and i genuinely cant do this anymore if i couldve gone on a walk when i got home id feel wayyy better but no my dad has to be a fucking asshole and ruin my best way of coping with negative emotions hes ruined so much of my phsyce and my moms and my brothers but my mom isnt too much of a saint either if i come out she will never accept me, esp bc she didnt accept mari all too fuckin well. I'm going to kill myself i cant handle this i jate this im going to ve stuck dealing with my parents for forever and there's nothing i can do about it theres nothinv at all i hate this so much i hate this when i get home im going to relapse tonight or go on a walk at like 11 and she wont even knlw that i made this bc i dont want her to be upsst bc im an asshole ab her being w someone else and im a pussy ab my parents and if i did she'd probably be too busy with him to see it bc im not her boyfriend anymore shes not my girl anymore shes not my girl anymore im going to off myself