Heyyyy so uh this post will be organized into me being suicidal and what i will do ab it and then me whining ab my relationship troubles
so when my dad has a job and my mom is on work (this will most likely be a vacation day) and kluivert is asleep this is when my plan will start. First ill get the bathtub clean and ill make it all bubbly and nice bc i wanna die cozy. when its drawn i will make a scheduled tweet for 2 hours or an hour to my suicide note on neocities and @ mari and maybe corv. it'll have all of my wishes and will and everything. Then i will make a physical barebones one that has the most important stuff. then ill go in the bathtub, say my goodbyes to the ones i love, and slit my wrists. i know the soap will make it sting but warm water keeps it from congealing and keeps it bleeding. then boom dead. also im gna play the evangalion song on loop on a speaker bc that song is soo me. after i die my brother will probably bang on my door sayin im hoggin the bathroom and then be worried im not responding so he opens the door (gently lol) and sees my corpse and screams and calls 911 and my parents and maybe mari or corv and im sure my parents will argue ab who caused it instead of worryin ab the fact im dead. everyone will be sad but theyll get over it eventually and move on with life, as thats how everything works. ill be gone and everyone will be better for it. the end
oh also if this doesnt work as an adult ill be a hikimori except i have a remote job
she doesnt think of me as her perfect boy anymore and if she knew i still think shes a perfect girl she'd think im a creep. im not her boy anymore im going to kill myself i hate this i hate them i hate everyone why wont everyone die this sucks i want to die i dont want others to die i want this to be done and over with im so sick of feeling like this. i hate being honest ab how i feel like i hate them when i dont and how i wanna kms related to this but i need to be honest when i put down my thoughts. i want to die so bad and i never will be able to. im not her boy. i feel numb rn i dont even feel as sad as earlier i just want.
to rest.
ok hi WAHHHHHH i wish i could kiss her and everything i wanna do again and i wanna,,, wahhhhhhh,,,,,, im not her perfect boy,,,, im not her boy,,,, im,
wahhhhhhhhhh
KLL YOURSELF I HATE YOU I HATE YOU SO MUCH I HATE YOU RAHHHH KILL YOURSELF
ok im yoyslly normal now
i thought i was feelin better too sighs i really am killing myself by the end of november
keepin to the tradition of novemeber sucking i guess
also i dont mean the kill yourself thoughts i just need to put these thoughts somewhere
ok ragnarok time