Lily looked outside to see Tilly sitting on the yard, alone. It was getting close to September, around when an old “friend” of hers disappeared with no trace. She argued with her mother again, about how she was out of the ordinary. Nonhuman. Alien.
Her mother of course, always argues the contrary. How couldn’t you when this theory could disprove so many of your theories? Your reputation could be besmirched in some way or another.
So after their old song and dance, Tilly remains outside, solitary as to not disturb her loved ones.
No matter how hard she tries, she can never hide her emotions, at least from Lily. There’s a reason she tries to pretend she doesn't notice anything, being linked by the soul can be very invasive to privacy for Tilly, and Lily has a strict moral upholding of privacy. Not about much else though.
Still, she could hear the argument between her and her mother. It didn’t count as an invasion, right?
Lily went outside and sat beside Tilly. She immediately remembered that she could not comfort anyone, even the ones she loves. She kicked herself, thinking she had a shoddy way of showing her care.
“Hey, uh, are you okay?”
Her monotone voice made it sound like she didn't care at all, despite the opposite being true. She could never keep up the chipper persona around Tilly, she just has a genuine energy you can’t fake around.
“Ah, it’s not important Lils. Don’t worry about me.”
“It’s probably important if you were crying.”
An awkward silence falls between them. Lily didn’t mean to say that. It’s just impossible to forget the times Tilly forgets to put barriers for Lily not to feel her emotions as much. The tears are blindingly bright, and the feeling of chilling cold despite the lack of wetness is haunting.
“Do you want to hear a joke?”
A stupid suggestion. At least with her fake friends she could suggest going out to karaoke or watching a bad sitcom to laugh at. She can’t be so impersonal here, but she’ll be damned if she’s not trying.
“Sure, Lils.”
“Did you hear about the alien who was obsessed with the moon?”
Why did she pick an alien joke. The first thing she thought of, and it was an alien one. A bad one at that, it was from her old elementary school art teacher.
“What?”
A small smile befell Tillys face, at least that means she appreciates the sentiment.
“Uhm, it was just a phase!”
It was just a phase as the punchline? Didn’t her mom say that to her earlier? She really is rotten for that, why couldn’t she just pick a better joke. The phony smile really pulled it all together too.
A giggle comes out from Tilly.
From a giggle to uproarious laughter, Lily remembered something.
Tilly loves bad dad jokes. She’s loved them ever since her dad said his first one to her, despite Lily’s disliking of them. Lily had a real talent of making them though, as whenever her dad was out she could whip out one for Tilly.
Lily started to laugh along too but was worried when Tillys laughter got loud enough to echo. Then she noticed her tears. After Tillys back was arched backwards from laughing, she curled up and began to weep.
Lily really was an idiot, wasn’t she?
Right as she was about to apologize, Tilly embraced the blond one. Tilly is normally afraid of touch, the only person who can touch her without making her flinch is Lily, and there’s still discomfort at first.
She held the taller one in her arms as she sobbed, and between her hiccups she managed wetly say something.
“T-th-thank y-you Lily, y-you re-re-really do c-care.”
She started crying harder after this too. Sometimes Lily doesn’t understand why she still believes in Lily, in her care for her, when she would ignore her and her ostracization at school if it meant she could get a leg up in the social ladder.
“Of course, Tills, you’re my best friend”
Tilly looked up, observing the wet spot she left on Lilys chest before looking her in the eyes.
“Do you really mean it?”
The pleading in her face was unbearable. It was everyone’s fault she didn’t normally let herself be this vulnerable. Lily could’ve, no, should’ve done more.
But she didn’t, and no matter what she does not it can’t change the past.
“Of course.”
Tilly flopped over in her arms and sniffled. The figures and shapes Lily always hallucinates got stronger and more defined.
No matter how hard she tries, she can never change her past.
What a sorry excuse for a best friend.